Completely Honest
by carolinecello101
Summary: Takes place during season 2, about. Elena loves Stefan, but cannot deny her feelings for Damon. Forced to ask herself why, she writes in her journal in addition to facing her feelings with Damon. Hopelessly confused, Elena hurts people she didn't mean to hurt, and tries to pick up the pieces. This is a Delena all the way, and I've been working on it for a while. Review please!


_All he has ever tried to do is protect me._ Elena realized. _I should at least return the favor. I should protect them. I should protect him. Most importantly, I should love him. _Elena took a deep breath and stepped out of her car. The Salvatore Boarding House stood before her. She began with a slow, cautious walk, but eventually found herself running up to the door. She rang the doorbell, but didn't wait for an answer, and walked right in.

"Yes, come right in Elena." Damon said in a dull voice. He was sitting in the living room, reading a dusty book with a short glass of blood next to him. "What do you want?"

"I want you to be completely honest with me."

"Well that's easy enough. Now what do you want?"

"Do you love me?"

Damon was suddenly right in front of her, staring straight into her eyes. "Now where would you get that idea?" he mumbled.

"That was a yes or no question, Damon." Elena replied.

"True, it was. Completely honest, you said?"

"Please don't make me regret coming here."

"What's going on here?" Stefan said, entering the room.

"Oh, nothing." Elena said, taking a step back. Damon nodded towards Elena in agreement. "Damon and I were just talking about what we should do about Katherine."

"We're not doing anything about Katherine. Katherine is going to stay trapped inside of that tomb where she will rot." Stefan said aggressively. "Come on, let's take you home." Stefan grabbed Elena's arm and began to lead her back out the door.

"No, please, stay awhile." Damon said. When Stefan gave him a dirty look, Damon replied. "Come on. Can't I entertain a guest? She came to see me, you know."

Stefan sighed and let go of Elena. "You can stay if you want. Damon will make sure you stay safe, right?"

"Of course. What else am I good for around here?" Damon rolled his eyes.

Stefan looked at Elena and Damon for a moment, and then went back up the stairs to his room.

"You were saying, Elena?" Damon said, gesturing to a couch in the living room.

"You haven't answered me. Completely honest, yes or no. A reason, if you have one." Elena stood with her arms crossed with all of her weight on one hip.

"You don't want to know the answer."

"I think I do."

"Fine then, if it will make you happy, then yes, I am in love with you. Is there anything else that you want?" Damon sighed.

Elena's heart began beating faster as she walked towards Damon, who was staring at her from the center of the living room. "Actually, there is one more thing I want. I want you to know that, I think, I love you too. I don't know why. I don't know how I could love someone like… never mind."

"Someone like what?"

"I said never mind." Elena insisted.

"No. Tell me. Someone like me? Someone who does horrible things for their own benefit? Someone who doesn't have a shred of their humanity left? Someone who doesn't regret ruining other people's lives? I don't know how you could love someone like that either."

"Damon, I –"

"Just go, okay? You don't really love me! You can't! You said so yourself. So please, get out before I have to hurt you." Damon said.

Elena opened her mouth to say something, but then quickly shut it and turned to run out the door. She slammed the door shut and ran across the gravel and reached her car. She started the engine and drove back out on to the main road without looking back, without even thinking about Damon or Stefan or anyone. Elena just focused on her tears. _Now I've gone and messed everything up. I shouldn't have said anything. _Elena thought. _I shouldn't have gone over there. I shouldn't have told him I loved him. I don't. He's right. I can't love him. I love Stefan. It will always be Stefan._

Elena was confused. She couldn't deny her love for Damon. Damon had always been there for her. He had been the protector. He looked for her when Katherine told him she didn't love him. He had always loved her, but he could never bring himself to show it. She was faced with a choice: Stefan, the "good" vampire (if such a one existed) or Damon, the one who had never changed, the one she could always count on to love her even when she might not feel the same. Elena loved Stefan, but didn't love his overbearing protectiveness. She didn't love his constant need for power, his need to eliminate any of her threats. She knew that the only way to keep everyone else safe was to give herself up to Elijah; and that was exactly where she was going. All she was going to do was drop by her house to say goodbye to Jeremy and pick up a few things.

Elena turned on to her street. It was a cloudy day outside – she noticed this for the first time. A few fat raindrops fell on to her windshield, and soon, the rain was falling so hard she could barely see the road in front of her. Finally, she saw her house. To her surprise, Damon was waiting for her in the driveway, letting himself get completely soaked by the downpour. The rain made his raven-black hair look stringy, and it stuck to his face and nearly covered his ocean-blue eyes. Elena just sat in her car, bewildered. Had Damon really come for her? At long last, she stepped out of the car and walked up to meet him. Her cardigan was soaked instantly. She wrapped her arms around herself and looked at Damon through the rain.

"You came back." Elena said.

"I did."

"Why? You made it pretty clear that you don't want me around."

"I couldn't bear to see you walk away crying. I couldn't take it that I couldn't make you feel better. But I want to do that now." Damon took a step closer, and Elena looked down. "I understand if you don't want me to be that person; but please, let me be that person for you, Elena. I love you."

"I love you, too, Damon." Elena said breathlessly. She looked up into his eyes. The rain falling made them look incredibly blue.

"There was something else I wanted."

"What's that, Damon?"

"This." Then he grabbed her around the waist and kissed her. She wrapped her arms around him and pulled him closer, and began to rub her fingers at the nape of his neck. Then Damon pulled back and looked at her.

"What's wrong, Damon?" Elena asked.

"You should get inside. I don't want you to get sick." Damon answered.

"Um, yeah. I guess I should." Elena hugged herself. "I'll see you later, then?"

"Yeah. Bye." Damon turned to walk away, his hands stuffed in his pockets. Elena stared after him until he walked around the corner.

Then she ran inside to her bedroom and fell down onto her bed. _What have I done? _She thought. _I can't turn into Katherine. I don't want to make them hate each other even more than they already do. I love Stefan… and Damon? I have to decide. I can't leave them both in limbo like this._

Suddenly she heard a knock on the window. Damon was crouched outside, still being soaked by the rain.

"Damon!" Elena called as she ran over to the window. "I thought you were going home."

"Well, I'm not. Too boring." He grinned and stepped into Elena's room. "So how's it going with Stefan?"

"Why would you bring that up after what just happened out there?"

"Oh, I don't know. Possibly because I want to make sure that this isn't going to turn out like 1864 all over again." Damon sat down on the bed next to Elena and put his hand on hers.

"I don't want to worry about that." Elena whispered.

"We're going to have to worry about it someday."

"I know, but not today." Elena said as she pushed Damon back onto the bed, playfully kissing his lips.

Damon embraced her and kissed back. He couldn't believe that Elena was kissing him back, running her fingers through his hair, touching his chest. She sat on his hips and explored every inch of his mouth. Suddenly, Damon pushed her away. All out of breath, he said, "I don't deserve this. Not after everything I've done. I love you, Elena; but I can't be the person you want me to be."

"You can, Damon. I believe in you."

"I can't Elena! It's my nature! I have to kill people. I'm a vampire." Damon took a deep breath. "You deserve someone like Stefan. Someone who can control themselves."

Elena sighed. She saw Damon's point. "You should leave Damon."

"I know, Elena. I know."

"I need to figure out what I want."

"Just one more thing."

"Yes?"

"Why me? Why, when you have Stefan, choose me?"

Elena looked at him for a long time, confused. The truth was, she didn't really know why. The whole thing had her running in circles. She had a wonderful, amazing and _safe _boyfriend. Stefan. Why would she ever want to drift over the line into danger zone with Damon? She sighed and said, "I don't know."

"I'm sorry Elena." Damon said. He turned around and stepped out the window, back into the rain; and in an instant, he was gone.


End file.
